Edwin Alley died peacefully on October 3, 2023, leaving behind a community of people whose lives he brightened with a joke, a story, a lie, or a hug.  Well-loved by all who knew him, Ed’s humor and good nature will be deeply missed. 

Ed was born in Murphy, North Carolina on August 31, 1941.  He was the youngest child, and only son, of Ida Jessie and Felix Morris Alley (“Morris”).  He had an older sister, Loee, who was 14 years his senior.  When Ed was young, his father joined the war effort and took a job as an electrician, relocating his family from North Carolina to Norfolk, Virginia.  In Norfolk, the family ran a small farm where Ed was tasked with castrating the pigs – a skill, to his chagrin, that he never passed down to his children.  

In high school, Ed played football and was on the wrestling team.  What he lacked in athletic ability, he made up for in scrappiness.  Although at first, he didn’t make the team, by his senior year, he played entire games and was honorable mention for the All-State team.   

Upon graduating high school, Ed attended Old Dominion University.  In addition to a full class schedule, Ed worked nights at Norfolk Naval Station (and walked 15 miles in the snow, uphill both ways).  At the naval base, Ed met Bill Wilson, who became his lifelong best friend.  In their second year at school, Ed convinced Bill to volunteer with him teaching Sunday school.  When asked for feedback on the experience, Ed explained to the priest that “teaching Sunday school with a hangover is real hell.”  

Ed flourished at Old Dominion and fell in love with philosophy and debate.  He became president of the debate club and the head of the Emerson Forum.  After inviting several controversial speakers to campus, Ed earned himself a reputation as a “rabble-rouser.”  In one case, he planned a speaker event with a leader from the Marxist movement.  The college prohibited the Marxist from speaking on campus, so in true Ed fashion, he moved the event to the boundary line of campus. 

Debate was Ed’s way of connecting and learning from others.  He was eager to hear and understand new perspectives, and because of this he loved a variety of people. Among his close friends, he counted people from different political parties, different countries, different religions, and different races. 

His empathy for others led to his involvement with the civil rights movement of the 1960s.  Ed participated in the march on the Pentagon in 1967.  He was instrumental in integrating the YMCA in Norfolk by hosting peaceful protests and sit-ins.  And there were several instances when bartenders would refuse him service or kick him out for associating with black friends, telling Ed, “We are required to serve them, but we don’t have to serve you.”  Ed was always willing to stick his neck out if it helped someone else.

Shortly after college, Ed took a job with Geico on the promise that they would transfer him to their office in Germany, where he was hoping to study existentialism.  After a year or two, Geico made good on its promise, and Ed moved with his first wife, Pam Green, to Kaiserslautern (their dog, the Bear, was sent over later).  

Although initially drawn to Germany to study under Martin Heidegger, Ed soon developed a taste and aptitude for business. In Kaiserslautern, he and a pair of friends started The Carolina Car Company, a firm that sold cars to the United States military.  At one point, Ed was the top seller of all Saab and Volvo automobiles in Germany.

In the late 1970s, Ed met and fell in love with his second wife, Diana Watson.  Proudly touted by Ed as the first single mother to graduate from Harvard law school, Diana was in Germany teaching American law.  Tragically, only a couple years into their marriage, Diana was diagnosed with colon cancer.  For the next year, Ed and Diana would travel to Boston and the Caribbean for treatment. They campaigned the Federal government to fund cancer research and appeared on national television and public radio to spread awareness.  Despite their efforts, Diana passed away in 1985 at the age of 37.  Ed was by her side until the very end.  

Losing Diana was one of the darkest moments of Ed’s life.  In the wake of her passing, he was depressed, and family and friends were at a loss on how to console him. It was not until he met Peta Jenkins, a kind and witty British woman, that Ed felt alive again.  Within a couple of years of their meeting, Peta and Ed married.  Ed had met his match in Peta, who kept him on his toes with new ideas and exciting plans for the future. Together, Ed and Peta embarked on many adventures: they traveled to India, moved to the United States, and started new businesses.  But none of these compared to the adventure of becoming parents.  

In March 1989, they welcomed their first son, Jacob Morris, who was joined within the year by their daughter, Hope Louise.  Two years later, Peta gave birth to twins (ouch), Lea Jessie and Benjamin John.  And several years after that, they adopted Carlos Jose and Tokiyo Yessenia from Guatemala.  Ed’s love for his children knew no bounds.  Eternally proud of even the most modest accomplishment, he attended every play, game, and competition – cheering on the sidelines, coming up with embarrassing nicknames for the players, and heckling the other side.  

Ed did not embarrass easily, and he knew how to have fun with the world. He loved sharing jokes with strangers, taking joy in brightening the day of a customer service representative, cashier, or server.  With his kids, he would speak in pretend foreign languages in the supermarket, find different faces in the bark of a tree, and happily skip downhill arm-in-arm with his 4-year-old.  He knew better than anyone how to laugh at himself, feeling strongly that life is easier when you accept who you are and learn to enjoy your flaws.  These qualities, among so many others, made him a fantastic dad.  He is deeply loved by all of his children, who unlike those who want to avoid turning into their parents, sincerely hope they can carry forth some of his warmth and humor. 

Edwin is survived by his wife, Peta, his children, Jacob, Hope, Lea, Ben, Carlos, and Tokiyo, and his grandchildren, Oliver, Maple, Tallulah, and Hazel.  Their lives, and the lives of so many friends, neighbors, and acquaintances are a little less bright without Ed.  

In honor of his memory, we ask that, when you can, lend a helping hand and pay a compliment to a stranger.  As Ed would always say, “It costs you nothing and can make someone’s day.”